Say it like you mean it!

12832407_1569999203290614_983257132943373822_n….. and say it like you mean it!

The way we speak is innate in ourselves. We can’t change our voices…. Or can we?

When my daughter was very little I left Australia and my husband.  I came back to England as a single mother.   I lost my voice and I kept losing it.  I know… I know many of you will now smile and think – good news!  It is, however, a hard thing to manage, especially when talking is my job and how I earn your money.  After about the 3rd time of losing my voice I ended up going to a Speech Therapist.  She taught me to modulate my voice how to raise and lower my voice – how to change it.

Have you noticed that when you talk to children very often people raise their voices to a higher pitch which is easier for babies and little children to relate to …. because it is gentler than the harsh loud and deep voices which are often heard and can make them cry – they think they are being shouted at or told off.

Communication is about different parts –the actual words we use, our physiology (the body language) the way we speak, the tonality, the pitch, the volume.

The pitch is the level of the sound frequency at which the word(s) are spoken. Speaking at a higher pitch conveys excitement, even nervousness perhaps, whereas lower pitches convey calmness and can indicate confidence and certainty.
An inflection is a change in the pitch. For example, an upward inflection is common at the end of a question e.g. You might ask a friend who is visiting you: “Hungry?”

Different inflections convey different meanings. Saying “Really?” with a downward inflection at the end implies doubt and suspicion, but with an upward inflection it conveys surprise and interest.

Have you ever played the game with a friend where you pick one word and have a whole conversation about it?   Yes ok – I’m guessing it is more a female (or Tina) game.  What I am suggesting is that you consider the many ways you could say ‘Really’ or “NO” or even “YES” for example bored, or very surprised, or with deep sympathy, etc. the various meanings being communicated just by appropriate inflection.  I recommend you have a go with your friends, family, or colleagues at work.  Using the word REALLY bat it back and forth a few times – use different inflection – use body language, stand up , sit down, roll your eyes and so on.  It’s fascinating to do this.  Did it make you smile? Did it make you laugh? Let me know below (in the comments) what you noticed.

In summary I’d like to point out how amazing our ability to communicate is.  How we can change HOW we speak with highs or lows; quiet or loud and even fast or slow.  It can make different meanings.  Thereby agreeing with the premise that it is not what you say but HOW you say it.  Be careful out there peeps!  You have a dangerous tool at your fingertips or tongue even. Would you like a few pointers to help you get your point across? Would you like some help making some choices?  Get in touch with The Inspiration People and we will see if we can work together to make it happen. #hypnotherapyascot #choiceisgood

 

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Life!

Is this what it feels like when you are trying to get your voice heard?

We all have those days when we want to shout at our colleagues or our boss (or even our nearest and dearest) and say “WILL YOU LISTEN. PLEASE!”. We very often feel disregarded. It’s not great for your self-esteem or confidence is it? We like to feel that people are listening to us and taking on board what we say. We don’t like to be ignored. It makes us feel amongst other things unworthy, unloved, disrespected. And of course, conversely, if we are listened to we feel worthy, loved and respected. How can you change that? This is what you are asking me:

“It’s all very well you telling me how I feel… BUT WHAT CAN I DO?”

  1. You need to remember that we cannot change others. We can only change ourselves. How we react, how we externalise our internal feelings. How we react to everything.
  2. We cannot make people listen, we cannot tie people down and make them listen (it’s not legal is it?)
  3. Is what we are saying either relevant, interesting, funny or important even? If we are talking just for the sake of talking then is there any wonder we are not listened to? People will think “oh they are always talking, yapping, going on and on, I’ll just switch off” and they do.
  4. Pick your time. If you are trying to talk to your boss at 12.55 and he/she has an appointment they have to be at 1300 – then you have picked the wrong time. Schedule in an appointment to have a chat. Same with your loved ones, if you start talking just as Match of the Day or whatever is their favourite programme starts you are on a hiding to nothing. Again, even with loved ones, schedule an appointment. Have a coffee with them? Take them out for a meal. Drive them somewhere. The car is a great place – you have a captive audience.
  5. However, something else to think about – it might not be that people are “totally uninterested” in the content, but have switched off because of HOW you are saying things. How can you change how you are speaking? Think about your intonation, your pitch – are you squeaking with emotion or are you speaking loudly and aggressively. Remember often a deep, loud voice can be taken as aggressive. If the pitch, volume, rhythm, and timbre of your voice never fluctuate, you’ll be speaking in a monotone – and you’ll risk losing your audience as a result.

Even making one small change should make a profound difference to being heard and therefore how you feel. Let me know how it helps. The Inspiration People can show you how these small changes can make a huge difference. #hypnotherapyascot #confidence #beingheard #self-esteem

The Inspiration People are an Ascot based NLP hypnotherapy centre led by Tina Williams, for more information please go to our website www.TheInspirationPeople.com or find our details listed on The General Health Register.

 

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Welcome 2016

Life can be a challenge, the key must surely be to take comfort from the fact we all learn from the experience of life. We survive. Hard as it may be to reflect, we can all look at everyday situations … Continue reading

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Make a call this Christmas

The festive period is a time for uniting friendships, balancing visiting time, not spreading yourself too thinly and trying to keep an air of harmony in the house. Now there’s a challenge!

It’s difficult for us to contemplate a Christmas break which is filled with loneliness and isolation, endured by others and now highlighted by John Lewis’s latest advertising campaign. It would be great, nay fantastic, if this advertising message fuelled more of us to have a conversation with anyone you think could be spending a lot of time on their own this year. A call, out of the blue, could go a long way to providing much needed festive cheer to people feeling isolated or lonely.

A new year always starts with a new diary…and the opportunity to think about what you want to prioritise. Not just resolutions but a new outlook, a new start. If you consider the opportunities and possibilities you will encounter it’s difficult not to find the prospect exciting. The Inspiration People will be inspiring more people this year and next to reach their individual goals, boost their self-esteem, lose weight, be less stressed, avoid those anxious worries or even learn how to identify and to take more control.

A very simple tip during the festive period to remain calm or become calm is to remember to take some time out. During the holiday period perhaps you could aim for a 15 minute period of time for some peace and quiet each day. Make sure you leave your PC/Laptop, your mobile phone, walk away from your phone – you will find that this will have a huge impact on your day and if you AIM for 15 minutes you might, just might get 5minutes!

About The Inspiration People

The Inspiration People are an Ascot based hypnotherapy centre led by Tina Williams, for more information please go to our website www.TheInspirationPeople.com or find our details listed on The General Health Register.

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Dry January?

Is January really over, already? For those doing a “Dry January” I guess it has been quite a long month. I hope that you have re-focused yourselves and feel ready to take on the year – rather than just binge drink for February and the rest of the year (making up for “dry” January!) How are the rest of your resolutions working out?

Here are a few testimonials from clients this year:-

“I am so very grateful to you for all your help and continued help in the new year.” JB – came to me for weight loss and increased this persons self esteem dramatically (apparently)!

“what you have done for xxx is working wonders and I was hoping to be able to lose weight with your help.” CB – a client referral – always love those!

“I found the flights much less fearful than before – almost enjoyable, I could say. And better on the way back, for some reason. I’m not sure which technique was the more effective, but I used both!” HH – Helped this person with fear of flying – enjoyable she said, wow!

I look forward to hearing from you and being able to make a change for you too 🙂

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Who are you NOT to be brilliant?

I love this quote.  I have always thought that the amazing and wonderful Nelson Mandela said it, but as you notice at the bottom it has been mis-attributed to him for years and I am pleased to say I was NOT the only mistaken one.

“…Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

If you don’t believe in “God” then this lovely quote doesn’t need to be any less relevant to you than anyone else.  You could replace that word with whatever you DO believe in whether it be Spirit, Buddha, Supreme Being, Angels or anything else. For me it is a reminder that we must strive to be the best we can be.

This passage is commonly mis-attributed to Nelson Mandela’s 1994 Inaugural Address.  It actually comes from the book ‘A Return To Love’ (1992) by Marianne Williamson

If you would like some help to become the person you would like to be, click onto my website and get in touch:

www.TheInspirationPeople.com

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Realize that if you have time to whine a

Realize that if you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.

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