We all have those days when we want to shout at our colleagues or our boss (or even our nearest and dearest) and say “WILL YOU LISTEN. PLEASE!”. We very often feel disregarded. It’s not great for your self-esteem or confidence is it? We like to feel that people are listening to us and taking on board what we say. We don’t like to be ignored. It makes us feel amongst other things unworthy, unloved, disrespected. And of course, conversely, if we are listened to we feel worthy, loved and respected. How can you change that? This is what you are asking me:
“It’s all very well you telling me how I feel… BUT WHAT CAN I DO?”
- You need to remember that we cannot change others. We can only change ourselves. How we react, how we externalise our internal feelings. How we react to everything.
- We cannot make people listen, we cannot tie people down and make them listen (it’s not legal is it?)
- Is what we are saying either relevant, interesting, funny or important even? If we are talking just for the sake of talking then is there any wonder we are not listened to? People will think “oh they are always talking, yapping, going on and on, I’ll just switch off” and they do.
- Pick your time. If you are trying to talk to your boss at 12.55 and he/she has an appointment they have to be at 1300 – then you have picked the wrong time. Schedule in an appointment to have a chat. Same with your loved ones, if you start talking just as Match of the Day or whatever is their favourite programme starts you are on a hiding to nothing. Again, even with loved ones, schedule an appointment. Have a coffee with them? Take them out for a meal. Drive them somewhere. The car is a great place – you have a captive audience.
- However, something else to think about – it might not be that people are “totally uninterested” in the content, but have switched off because of HOW you are saying things. How can you change how you are speaking? Think about your intonation, your pitch – are you squeaking with emotion or are you speaking loudly and aggressively. Remember often a deep, loud voice can be taken as aggressive. If the pitch, volume, rhythm, and timbre of your voice never fluctuate, you’ll be speaking in a monotone – and you’ll risk losing your audience as a result.
Even making one small change should make a profound difference to being heard and therefore how you feel. Let me know how it helps. The Inspiration People can show you how these small changes can make a huge difference. #hypnotherapyascot #confidence #beingheard #self-esteem
The Inspiration People are an Ascot based NLP hypnotherapy centre led by Tina Williams, for more information please go to our website www.TheInspirationPeople.com or find our details listed on The General Health Register.